weekly yikes report for dec 24-dec 30

As the end of the year looms, people are drawn to post retrospectives, lists culling the best articles of the year, and other backward-gazing pieces that we here at yikes just don’t have time for! part of the world may have gone on vacation but that doesn’t mean the news stops!

[Gary Novelich] admitted during job interviews with two other law enforcement agencies that he had written 20 to 100 inaccurate arrest reports and given inaccurate testimony in court, according to a district attorney’s memo.

LA Times

California is a state the tends to have strict privacy laws when it comes to officer discipline. It’s so strict here in fact that not even prosecutors are able to see the personnel files on police misconduct. This is a huge deal when officers are called to testify as witnesses in cases and their history of misconduct is not revealed. Which is something that of course comes up a lot in the criminal justice system, and another way for departments to get their desired result. A new policy from the LA County DA’s office expands the requirements of when this information must be disclosed to the defense.

This story reveals some infuriating manipulation of officer privilege. I hope that this moves things in the right direction. Baby steps? Unless, of course, a bunch of records get conveniently “destroyed” before this policy goes into effect…

The EPA is proposing rolling back its regulations on how much mercury coal plants can release into the atmosphere. (I know Alice Hamilton, champion of public health and industrial health regulation, is somewhere in the ethereal plane crying about this.) It is another instance of Upsetting But Not Surprising from this administration, because the acting EPA head Andrew Wheeler is a coal lobbyist who has bowed to his buddy Bob Murray. Murray is a yuge Trump supporter who was literally asking for this regulation to be loosened. It is extremely gross that the coal industry is more important than the health and well-being of Americans, but late-stage Capitalism is fucking rough. Sorry, Earth.

We’re all talking about the government shutdown because 1) it’s a temper tantrum 2) it hits lower-level employees hardest 3) it is actively postponing court cases against Trump

Another child has died in the custody of Border Patrol. Soulless right-wing ghouls continue to blame the parents for having the audacity to escape life-threatening danger, only for their child to die under the watch of El Paso Border Patrol. DHS secretary has said they will be more careful when putting children in cages from now on. The 8 year old Guatemalan boy’s name is Felipe Alonzo-Gomez. Seven year old Jakelin Caal died only weeks ago. Please remember their names, think of their families struggle.

People have made jokes about President Bone Spurs ever since Trump was seriously running. Learning that he was exempted from military service, despite attending and loving military school, has been a worthwhile dunk. Now it turns out that the podiatrist who signed off on this diagnosis rented his office from Fred Trump. The daughters of this doctor are saying their father would often tell the story of doing a favor for Trump to help his son stay out of Vietnam.

It is important to the integrity of Yikes that I don’t revert to posting tons of Twitter comments as content. But sometimes, it’s necessary. Thank you for understanding.


Twitter had one of its Moments last night when it appeared that the famous Melania “what is she thinking” tweet was showing, for some, a giraffe. Others were still seeing the original beluga whale. Originally, this seemed like a sinister way for Twitter to let us know tweets were now editable. For a while, it felt like we were stuck in a cache hell akin to the gold dress scenario. But it turns out the answer is much more mundane. Way back in 2012 when this tweet was posted, services like Twitpic were used to upload and host photos. Since then, its likely the image ID has been recycled.

The Saudis are using child soldiers from Darfur to fight in Yemen. What is there even to say about atrocities like this? Maybe 2019 will be the year America ends our involvement in this disgusting humanitarian crisis.

We all know that Louis CK has returned to doing stand-up, despite much of the informed world telling him to shut up and sit in a cave while he thinks about how much pain he’s caused others.

Of course, men like him only do what they want, and the leaked bits of his latest set are astoundingly gross. CK has always been a comedian to talk about things very openly, even when they are uncomfortable subjects. But it seems like dude has driven full-speed into Troll Hackery. Here are a few choice quotes while I gather my rage and focus it, laser-like, right at CKs desiccated heart.

Here’s his “bit” on the survivors of the Parkland shooting:

“You’re not interesting because you went to a high school where kids got shot. Why does that mean I have to listen to you? How does that make you interesting. You didn’t get shot. You pushed some fat kid in the way. Now I gotta listen to you talking?

CK’s hot take on the dismantling of the gender binary:

“They tell you what to call them. ‘You should address me as they them because I identify as gender neutral.” ‘You should address me as there because I identify as a location and the location is your mother’s cunt.’ “

If you spend 5 minutes on reddit you’ll find basically the same sentiment with about as much thought put behind it. CK has no unique perspectives left, it’s only rage. He’s acting like a cornered animal because he knows his career is in shambles and isn’t a big enough person to admit that gracefully. Instead he’s filled himself with spite and anger to propel him through this time, and it’s only going to make things worse. Fuck you, Louis.

If you are enjoying my Yikes roundups, may I suggest you follow me on the bird site, where my most popular tweet is about the old cartoon Pepper Ann?